I’m writing this story about addiction after going on a journey of self-analysis, using some of my favourite Ancient Philosophers, to try to address my mindset back when I was battling for my life in addiction. I will share its damaging effects and the reasons I feel I became addicted to alcohol, E tabs, speed coke weed then got promoted to heroin. Why I couldn’t stop and how it comforted me in a time of fear and confusion of emotions. I want to share this mainly for myself to heal and maybe my grandkids one day but by no means last for those still suffering or have loved ones now and in the future trapped in its paws. I also want to dedicate this to my daughter Erica, so she can understand why I wasn’t the best father and hopefully, one day heal her hurt and help strengthen our relationship which was badly fractured.

I’m hoping to reach lost souls, mine especially and bring hope into a dark place. Give them some understanding and methods to get clean and understand their confusion of who they are and they need the escape of drugs in any form, and also to try to change people’s perception of the suffering addict. I hear people saying “Iv no sympathy for someone who chooses to take drugs, they get what they deserve”, although this thinking in my mind is wrong it can stem from being directly hurt by addiction and having an angry response, it’s understandable. I will show the humour attached and how it’s used to fuel an ongoing career in substance abuse. I would like to try to change the stigma and get them to look under the blanket of addiction to see the soul in pain.
I grew up in Dublin and had two brothers and a sister. My Dad (Harry) was an alcoholic and my Mother(Chrissie) was left to rare us as best she could to cope with Harry’s drinking, Harry worked hard as a plumber but would come home drunk every night to stressed out angry wife which evolved into an explosive household. I grew up seeing the devastation of alcoholism and addiction but also its attraction to escape realism. I was very introverted at home but the opposite outside and in school always the joker, a mask I wore well and pulled a few girls with it too. I learned early on that if you could make a girl laugh you were halfway there. The other half I’ve later figured out was orgasms and shoes in that order.