Finally the inevitable happened the police raided the rave and shut the place down I was devastated. We needed a new home to party in so we went into the Harp nightclub on O Connell St to check it out. Wasn’t my cup of tea full of blokes looking more like woman and music was more Top of The Pops , I thought to myself I’m not pretty or tall enough for this place but got muzzled anyway. Near the end of the night we were dancing beside the ladies toilets as it was only place you get to see every lady in the place at some stage, one of many strategies me and Barry had employed but this night was my night . I had a fell touch me on the shoulder saying his friend fancied me as I could dance like Travolta so she was smitten and who could blame her. I walked over scoped her up and down she was right height and very pretty but couldn’t seal the deal as couldn’t see her ass as she was wearing pyjamas. This would usually turn me off a girl from Ballymun with few bogey blokes wearing pyjamas in a trendy nightclub but I was instantly attracted to her cheek and madness, I could sense her brokenness and knew she’d accept mine, we had a little chat her name was Gemma, I’ll never forget her pretty smile I gave her a kiss only for a second to keep her wanting, we arranged to meet the next night in the Daniel O Connell a pub on O Connell St.
The First Date
I headed in for my date was excited nervous and very worried because I couldn’t remember what she looked like so I brought Barry and we had arranged to go to a 21st. We arrived and had a pint looking at the door to see if she came in and I prayed she would as id never live it down. We kept looking over with that little runt laughing when an ugly bird would walk in he’d whistle and wave and say “there she is “.
Then this little beauty walked in wearing a tight black dress and her hair was long and straight the way I loved it, I said “I think that’s her “waved over she walked over sat down and chatted away with no shyness or nerves, she was stunning great figure lovely long straight hair and an adorable cheek, I looked at Barry and smiled with a smug look with pride. As our competition were now girls. We had a few pints like three mates that knew each other years and she agreed to go to the 21st, looking back now I was smitten, we had a great night and ended up back in some party in town I woke up on the sofa with Gemma and tried to wake her to go home but she was out of it, me and Barry were in stitches, I didn’t know what made her that bad but looking back now I know. We had to lift her up she started putting on some fellas shoes that were in the sitting room, she didn’t know where she was, and eventually got her in a taxi brought her home to ballymun. What I didn’t know was Gemma was a heroin addict but id later find out and tore us apart as she tried to hide it with lies and deceit it broke my heart as id fallen in love with her she was amazing when I first got to know her but slowly drugs took her from me.
Reflection
Looking back and assessing my heart when I met Gemma I identified with her brokenness and her humour. I loved how open she was at expressing herself in an unfamiliar environment. I suppose I loved the things in her that I was terrified to feel myself. This was the first time I had a so called proper relationship that lasted more than a few weeks. I had opened myself up emotionally and left myself vulnerable which I didn’t like. I was still very much a child emotionally and struggled with them on a daily basis.